"It's Not Happenstance: 20 Things I Use to Optimize Natural Parenting with a Busy Lifestyle

For many years-- from a teenager in high school, through motherhood, nursing and unschooling 5 children while going to school, working, and managing an art business with an abusive partner, to now, perimenopausal, at the cusp of empty nesting 5 grown-ish people and a half century-- I have been happy to share that my ability to have lived all the things and occasionally still get mistaken for a 20something, isn't happenstance. There are certain things I do/have/consume/avoid to ensure that my mind and my body cooperate with my will and intention-- or more correctly, my desire and my vision. I engage these things for various reasons including daily maintenance, to support a specific short-term intention, seasonally, and/or for acute issues as they come up. Since the point of this website is to be an online version of me, I figure sharing this list is a good place to start.

The following are things that I have observed over decades and cycles of my life to note the functionally positive effect they have on my behaviors, feelings, activities, choices, productivity, creativity, and appearance. None of this is meant to be a prescription for you, but an example of how to consider the things that impact your life and to be self-aware enough to manipulate yourself towards your own highest outcomes. Whenever people have commented on my being pretty or my children being beautiful, healthy and well behaved, or my skin being clear, my thoughts have always been in the vein of you can...too, if you just...

Most of it can be summed up as Rasta livity. Livity is how one organizes their life with one perfect love and more life at the center of their being and activity. Saying all of that to say, that my suggestion, and what Source is telling me to share with you, is to live your life in a way that allows you to knowledgeably collect things as you go along, that work for you when you activate and engage them. This is just a quick glimpse of the primary external things I've collected along my journey (that work for me) because the intention is to really just plant a thought in your mind for your soul to ponder. I'll get into each thing in further depth in future articles, but if you have a question or few, please send me a message or leave a comment. Thanks for being here.

1. Knowledge of Self just makes life truly livable.

2. Cannabis keeps my mind clear and focused. It also makes sure that I eat and don't be a spaz. Bob Marley said, "herb gives you time for yourself." I could go on and on, and I will, in other articles, but that's the gist.

3. Early in its market life, I was fortunate to be a demo rep for plant-based meal-replacement and sports nutrition brand, Vega. As a demo rep, I always had enough product to use and to share freely. I also got to be very well educated on the products and how specific nourishment matters specifically to the body and to sustainability-- personally and collectively. I grew to "get" why people loaded up on it when it was on promo and why others would gladly pay full price for it. I also noticed that Vega's main demographic were not only vegans, but high achieving, adventurous people who were accomplishing things that most could not fathom, and a key difference was nourishment. Thirteen plus years later, I have yet to come across a better product than Vega One for easy maintenance of my performance and vitality. Even though the current version is not exactly what it once was, as often happens with brands when they scale and are no longer owned and developed by the founder, I still keep it on Subscribe and Save. Interestingly, I used to say, "May I always have free access to Vega until I have the budget to buy it myself."

4. Salad. I realized right after I had Malachi, my 2nd baby in 2 years, that I was a better mother when I had salad in my day. My ideal salad consists of greens-- spring mix or red/green leaf lettuce, endive, escarole, dandelion; sprouts-- alfalfa or spicy; grated or minced carrot, beet, onion, garlic, & ginger in that order of descending quantities, mixed; sesame sticks or roasted unsalted sunflower seeds (kernels); Goddess Dressing or tahini, apple cider vinegar, Himalayan pink or black salt, parsley flakes, date syrup, crushed red pepper or harissa, & extra virgin olive oil.

5. Distilled water is just water. Get minerals elsewhere like from fruit and vegetables and grains. Things that are of the earth and have substance. Let water cleanse and hydrate.

6. Basic food. Stuff that tastes good, yields significantly, fills the belly, is easy to clean up, and doesn't cause negative side effects to my health or my pocket. These are usually prepared from scratch unless reheating leftovers (which I LOVE!) and can be eaten in whatever way makes sense on any particular day based on availability, access, time, and wellness. They can be prepared ensemble or solo as meals or as snacks and are just the foods I happen to like that my body also likes and that I have figured out how to use towards my own wellness and functional optimization. I also always like having seconds, 3rds and 4ths! Most of these foods allow for that. Best is when I get at least 1 thing from each of the following groups daily in addition to salad: grapefruit, pineapple, or slightly sweet, sour, firmly ripe mango; cruciferous green vegetables-- cabbage, bok choy, brussels sprouts, collards, broccoli, cauliflower, kale, etc.; yams, sweet plantain; beans-- red or green lentils, black, kidney, butter/lima, cow, black-eyed, split-pea; quinoa or rice-- short grain brown, black, or basmati (brown, then white).

7. Mushrooms are as useful as they are tasty, if not more so. I've always liked mushrooms on my pizza. Eventually, before the trend, we figured out they make a great plant-based meat textured substitute. Every day I am getting to know and apprecilove more and more of the benefits of culinary, nootropic, and psychedelic mycelium fruit bodies (aka mushrooms). Daily faves include Blend, Chaga, Lion's Mane, Cordyceps, and Reishi depending on my activities and their associated required focus.

8. Natural Calm is another product I used to demo and had the chance to be educated and well acquainted with. It is a bioavailable magnesium supplement. I use it specifically to keep my lower legs from cramping at night, to relax before bedtime, and to loosen my anal muscles to ensure easy bowel movement in the morning (especially after eating constipating foods like chocolate, french fries, or doughy things). An added benefit is that it can double as a refreshing "flavor drink" when cold or sparkling, relaxing "tea" when hot.

9. Shea/Coconut/Olive Oil/Cacao Butter. Most of what I use on my skin, I split with my kitchen. At my demos it was a daily occurrence that I sent a customer out of the body care aisle to save a few dollars by buying something from grocery. Of course I was raised as most Black children are, to thoroughly lubricate our bodies before getting dressed and any other time our skin has less than a beautiful sheen. I typically just prepare a blend of any or all of my favorites and pour the mixture into various saved glass containers (REduce REuse REcycle!!!) and distribute to each member of the household.

10. Sacred metals and gems worn for adornment and worked with to balance, absorb, and/or focus energy can also sometimes be used to sanitize air and surfaces, as well as be applied topically and/or consumed internally for various medicinal purposes because of natural antibacterial, antimicrobial, and nutritive properties. A Rasta Empress I worked for as a teenager told me if I ever felt a stye coming on my eye, to spit on my gold ring and then rub it, with the spit, across the affected eye area from the corner closest to the ear in towards the nose. I've done that each time since and I have never gotten a stye. Silverceuticals is my preferred brand of all things nano-silver. I use the toothpaste, gel, Facial Serum and mister with Active Defense most days. Discount at checkout when shopping from my link.

11. Essential Oils have been a daily staple since middle school, when my godmother went to school to study them. We'll put a few drops of lavender and tea tree on our washcloths to run over our skin in the shower before we get out and/or rub a few drops in our palms and run over clothing on our way out the door as protection from outside germs. I use a diffuser with drops of lemongrass, grapefruit, and bergamot to energize and focus when I have work or studying to do, and I use Eye of the Storm and Earthly Calm to support my doula clients in labor. Geranium rubbed lightly over the throat has relieved laryngitis on several occasions by causing a big clot of dried mucus to be expelled.

12. Spirulina/Chlorella/Chlorophyll are primordial superfoods, and they pretty much cover all the nutrient bases except for fat. For me they are most easily consumed simply in or with water as I move through the day, and a little goes a long way. They can come as tablets, crunchies, powder, or liquid and are generally used to increase iron and oxygen in the blood as well as provide a host of essential vitamins and minerals. Many report increased energy and a naturally deodorized body. I try to remember not to have it after about 2pm unless I want to stay up at night. Other ways I consume are in smoothies, salads, and even in baked goods occasionally. All of the links are for top brands that I use and/or have demoed.

13. Tooth powder. Back in the day it was just baking soda because I did not like the foam created by toothpaste. Now I blend some version of baking soda, activated charcoal, salt, green clay, and essential oils to make a tooth powder that keeps my teeth and gums healthy and minimizing my overall consumerism. I do still buy toothpaste on occasion though.

14. The Sun is my all-time happy place. As a melanated person, it makes me feel happy, free, and beautiful. It soothes and inspires me. It charges me because it is our life-sustainer. The warmth and radiance that draws me to the Sun is the same energy that I carry with me for others and there are a few people who even call me "Sunshine" as a sweet nickname. If you are ever looking for me and "in the sunny spot" is an option, check there first.

15. Lists are my saving grace so I do not have to rely on my memory. I started making lists in the steno books I used to write down my homework assignments in somewhere around 9th grade. As a mother, there have been times when I was literally listening to 5 people at once, each talking to me like they were the only ones speaking. This, in addition to the house, the partner, the pets, the family, the businesses, and my own stuff, has caused my memory to be very inconsistent in its reliability. I get great satisfaction from drawing a check in front of each task as it is completed and then filling it in. If the task only gets halfway completed, I leave the check empty. But yeah, lists help me keep track of things that I want to get done and things that need to be done, conversations and phone calls, any and every to-do. Some for today, some for now and others for eventually. It has also been a helpful way to communicate requests for participation (aka chore) options to the children while allowing them a level of agency. Lists also have a positive neurolinguistic capacity.

16. Astrology is the heads up so we can be prepared for the cosmic (energetic) weather. I like knowing "it's not me" when things get weird, and understanding the cosmology can help me strategize for best experiences daily and over time. Some of my favorite resources are Know Thy Zodiac, Ras Ben 188, Forever Conscious, Anne Ortelee, Zodi I Am, Chris Corsini, Pam Gregory, Astro King, Chani Nicholas, and Yolanda Marie.

17. Radical (ridiculous) gratitude is a term I learned from LoA Success Coach Constance Arnold many years ago. It is a practice and philosophy that may seem counter-intuitive at first, but it actually serves as a point of light for maintaining the frequency that keeps me aligned with my purpose. The concept of radical/ridiculous gratitude easily corresponds with the Rastafari way of responding to most things, "Give thanks" and the (Kemetic) "Amen Hetep" that is common amongst the Asar Aset community. Basically, because gratitude begets more to be grateful for, and what we focus on is what we create, the way to be imperturbable and not get knocked off your square when things get tough, is to practice, observe, and hold ridiculous gratitude. Not necessarily because a thing is liked or enjoyed, but because there is only divine right action impelled towards more life if we don't resist it and stay in the flow of it. Issa vibe.

18. Music is the muse. I use it to manipulate my energy to align with my intentions. HipHop for hustle and money; Reggae for an upful heart, work energy, and reminder of Self; Hindu chants for their respective ancient purposes; Gospel for sanctifying and signifying; etc, etc. I am a DJ who got detoured. There will be playlists and mixtapes. Stay tuned. Don't rush me, this is a solo operation.

19. Rest. Recently I began developing dry eye, so I started using warm eye masks to relieve inflammation and stimulate my tear ducts. I have surely opted for sleep over hard things or staring at the computer more times than not. I also recognize the value of a good all-nighter and that the effort is worth it for some things. Smarter not harder and quality over quantity. Everytime.

20. Movement: in a nutshell, move it or lose it. The body is not meant to be sedentary. Atrophy is real even for otherwise healthy people. These days I have to make up reasons to move my body because of lifestyle changes that have come with having grown-ish children, aging, perimenopause, and life post-covid. Most days I aim to stretch and strengthen in my room using an exercise ball, small weights, Bodyblade and/or my ancient hand-me-down Body by Jake Ab Scissor. On warmer days I go outside to walk or run laps (Naeemah-style--slow!), with the Couch to 5k app, in a field because it is gentler than pavement. Depending on the weather, my mood, my energy, my to-dos and how much I have been on the computer or typing on my phone, I will do more or less of these movements.

I hope these suggestions are helpful to you in your effort to optimize your natural parenting and busy lifestyle. Please send me a message in the chat or an email if you have any questions. If you are interested in coaching with me, please book a Discovery session.

One perfect love.

~Naeemah